Here are few of the wackiest quotes by celebrities written by Rosemarie Jarski in The Funniest, Stupidest Things Ever Said.

“I want to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon… but I want to stay alive.” – Madonna

“When people find out that I’m just a human being I guess I disappoint them.” – Beyonce Knowles

“Our club captain Gary Neville’s been out for a year now, but Giggsy has taken up the mantelpiece.” – Rio Ferdinand

“I’m 28 now and they say you peak at 28 – so my best years are still ahead of me.” – Kieron Dyer

“Isn’t Halle Berry the most beautiful woman? I have a film I’d like to be in her with – I mean I’d like to be with her in.” – Ewan McGregor

“England? England is in London right?” – Eminem

“What do you wear on a running machine? I can’t bring myself to wear flat shoes.” – Victoria Beckham

“I like my mug shot. I think I have a really great mug shot. It looks like a magazine shoot.”  – Paris Hilton

“What gorgeous staff I have. I can’t understand those who have ugly people working for them.” – Jade Jagger

“One accusation you can’t throw at me is that I’ve always done my best.” – Alan Shearer

“My grandma was like: ‘Oh, Christina, you look like a whore!’ I explained that’s the idea.” – Christina Aguilera

“You can’t understand it until you experience the simple joy of the first time your son points at a seagull and says Duck!” – Russell Crowe

“I remember so clearly us going into hospital so Victoria could have Brooklyn. I was eating a Lion Bar at the time.” – David Beckham

“If you chopped off my head, I’d still carry on talking, because the head stays alive for a bit. I’ve seen that in films.” – Jade Goody

“If more families were like us the world would be a better place.” – Kelly Osbourne

“I think gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.”  – Arnold Schwarzenegger